- You follow me.
- I follow back.
- I reblog shit from you.
- You reblog shit from me.
And if you don’t all send me a card for my birthday I will cry myself to sleep.
Actually I always wonder how many of these sorts of posts are meant literally. I mean, if someone follows me or reblogs a lot of my stuff that makes me very inclined to think fondly of them, and you guys are always welcome to message me or whatever, and off the top of my head I’m pretty sure I like all my followers (well, the ones I don’t suspect of being spambots). And if I follow someone, it generally means I like them, and would be chuffed if they turned out to like me too (and if I reblog lots of someone’s stuff and don’t follow them I’ll usually start following them the moment I notice how often I reblog them). But I wouldn’t necessarily say that we are friends: I’m certainly not friends with, say, misspixnmix. I think she’s cool! But we’ve never actually interacted in any meaningful way beyond me clicking “like” on her comics, and I’m pretty sure she has no idea I exist.
Bookofstars summed this up much more succinctly with her tag :”WELL YEAH IN A FRIENDLY PERSON I LIKE AND WOULD TALK TO sense” but why be succinct when you can ramble, eh?
I have a permanent account so I’ll never have to make this choice, but it’s still sad to watch the slow decline. :(
It really is. Because a year ago, when Dragon Age II came out, it was different. It was seriously LJ’s own mismanagement that drove a lot of people away.
I wonder how much the migration to Tumblr was driven by LJ’s idiocy.
Sadly for me, I was just playing DA:O for the first time when DA2 came out, so by the time I had finished playing both games and was ready to rush headlong into the fandom, the death knell had already begun sounding.
It was a major catalyst for me. I don’t know if I ever would have switched if they hadn’t screwed things up so much.
It makes me sad, because I really do prefer lj-style blogging a lot of the time, especially for conversation. Dreamwidth has picked up slightly over time as lj has fallen, but the heyday is definitely over.
i did it i backread. despite declaring i wouldn’t. i did and now i’m all caught up.
NOW I AM ATTEMPTING A HIATUS AGAIN THOUGH. i declare these things to make them more real to myself….i hope it works this time.
To help you out, I promise to post only boring things from now on. Because I care.
I spend so much time in sick-taking-care-of-self-mode that I get kind of confused when I’m supposed to be back in normal-life mode.
Oh, yes. Very much this! Right down to the Gilmore Girls reruns!
There was a weird sense of vertigo for me when “normal” life became increasingly rare, and then “sick” became the new normal, with what was “ridiculously ill” becoming the new “sick”. I’ve pretty much stopped eating anything that has any “hangover” effect, since I have no grace period to get through it.
Ha! I hadn’t heard that one before! I could be Square Bear the Care Bear. The fine people of the swooping is bad irc channel sometimes call me squibber, which rhymes with…fibber? Or I could be sqeeber, like Justin Bieber. This is fun :)
You don’t have to be 100% sure of your identity. Ever.
You don’t have to run yourself into the ground trying to pull yourself apart and figure out the words. And it’s okay to be nervous instead of excited about a new discovery, because hey, it can be scary. You’re allowed to experiment, you’re allowed to question, you’re allowed to dwell on it as much or as little as you want because it is your feelings, your self, your identity.
You deal with it and wear it like you want to, because it’s yours.
Filed under: things I wish I had realised before I was 30, and still have to remind myself of from time to time.
It’s from a song called “Recycled Vinyl Blues” by Neil Innes.
Mine is also from a song - a-ha’s “Minor Earth Major Sky.”
I’ve been an a-ha fan for more than 10 years; my ex-roommate clued me in on the fact that they had a lot more music than just “Take On Me,” and once I started listening, I was hooked. I’m so very happy I got to see them in concert once - they stopped playing the US after somewhere around 1986, and only came back to play a handful of shows on their farewell tour in 2010. I drove to Chicago to see them, and after 10 years of being a fan, the road trip was more than worth it. :D
KJ is the name I go by online, and also my initials, and this Tumblr is an aspect of my online life. Yes, it really is that boring.
I’ve though of changing it to “owlmoose” to match the rest of my fandom persona but have wondered if that would be too confusing. Maybe after the Valentine’s exchange is over.
Misspelled because I failed French.
[Above: The face of someone I don’t recognise (Barbeau, I assume) pasted onto a robot, captioned “Barbeau-bot with chainsaw arms!”]
It’s based on Square Bear, the only nickname I ever really had at school, though it never got used much. I was filling in a (paper!) form for my uni email account and wanted something unique so I wouldn’t have to fill in the form again.
- Daemon - The only one you’re appropriating is Pullman and by appropriating Pullman you’re upsetting no-one, save possibly the Pope.
- Patronus - Wizards everywhere are more than willing to lend you this term and the geekiness is an added bonus. I just read that geeks are sexy, or so the Metro, so, there you go, a patronus is clearly your next ascribed accessory.
i particularly love patronusx
and the cool thing is that you actually upset the pope EITHER WAYx
Ask me questions or for my opinion on stuff or whatever!
As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…
“When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things a girl can do, whether they mean it or not.”
and ”The perennial location of nice guys everywhere.”
Although this hypothetical situation could work both ways, friendzone is almost always applied to a man who is rejected by a woman. Therefore, there is something inherently unequal, something inherently sexist about the term “friendzone”. But what and why?
From my experience, this is what friend zone is. A “nice guy” pursues a woman, but isn’t forward with his intentions from the get-go like, say, a “jerk”. The woman is pleased to see a man who is interested in her not as a sexual object but as a human being and wishes for things to stay that way. The man is not satisfied with seeing the woman as a human being because being “expected to support a girl” is a bad deal if she’s not putting out.
Before I delve into the sociological aspects of this, I just want to point out that ”friendzone” is no more pleasant for a woman than it is a man. First, that is to say unrequited love works both ways, but the person who doesn’t return affections is considered mean only when she’s a woman. And second, what option does the woman have in a traditional “friendzone” situation? Just stop talking to a close friend to avoid “leading him on”? In high school, I found out my best friend of 2 years liked me. Having to tell him I didn’t feel the same way and being immediately ex-communicated via Facebook status (“Thanks for wasting my time”) was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Were our two years of friendship invalid because I didn’t want anything more? Was all our time together really wasted because there was no hypothetical pay off?
Guys who do this and claim to be “nice guys” are the worst misogynists because of their sense of entitlement toward a woman. They make investments in property and expect their dividends. They are fake friends. They are selfish. And they will jump at the chance to vilify you and victimize themselves when their attempts at manipulation don’t work. Clearly, “friendzone” is the remnant of a phenomenon that has plagued women since the beginning of time: women are not independent creatures. Our love lives exist only in the context of a man’s desire. When we make independent decisions, we are subject to a host of derogatory terms. “Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”.
I’ve seen that last line popping around, and it is wonderfully written.
Here is The Way It Works: A Primer by Brian Gefrich
- You are nice to people because people should be nice to each other.
- You are good to people because then everyone’s lives are a bit better.
- If you meet a person you are interested in romantically or sexually, you will already be treating them nicely as per the above.
- If they are in a position where they would be open to a relationship, you make your intentions clear. This is not done through the simple acts of kindness or friendship you would perform for anyone else, make use of the culturally-accepted forms (flowers, ask out on a date, just tell them straight-up, etc)
- If they say ‘no’ in any form, then that’s that, but you do not punish them by treating them as less than a person. Remember above, you are being nice to everyone.
- If they say ‘yes’ in any form, if it’s a relationship or sex once on a whim or anything in-between, you don’t then get to stop being nice to them. They are still a person.
If you use your kindness as a form of pre-payment for sex, you are treating the object of your desire as less than a person, you are demeaning them by thinking that their sexuality can be purchased, and you are prostituting your own humanity.
This may make you a misogynist, yes, but more than that it makes you really terrible at being a person.
This is a good post, and helped me figure something out: why certain guys keep hitting on women who are clearly not interested in them.
I’ve seen lots of guys who will become convinced that a girl is interested when she’s just been vaguely civil, and is far friendlier to other people. But to these guys (a) the ONLY reason you’re nice to someone of another gender is to show that you’re interested and (b) The only relevant thing about a girl is whether or not she’ll sleep with you, so her interactions with and opinions of other people are irrelevant.
The downside of all this is that if you’re a conventionally attractive girl and are nice to everyone, guys you don’t like will hit on you and be DEEPLY SHOCKED when you say no.